Hey, finally got round to this! Disclaimer: I haven't read the text, so I'm pretty ignorant in my feedback. Hope this helps anyway… and remember I'm honestly not judging you or saying you're hopeless!!!Is Medea the true victim in the Euripides’ play?
Silhouetted against the backdrop
s of ancient Greece, is the portrayal of a women Medea who attempts to gain vengeance on the patriarchal society, in Euripides’ play 'Medea'. The state of despair Medea is placed in after only obeying that of Jason
what do you mean?, allows sympathy for her.
You dived in too fast to your three arguments without introducing the overall topic – who is the true victim. Furthermore, despite Medea’s fatal flaws to be unable to control passion over reason, Medea is still able to acknowledge the wrongdoing of her gruesome machinations. Therefore, despite Medea can truly be shown as a victim of the play due to the unfair gender equity she has to suffer, but the true victim undeniably goes the innocent people who are killed
such as?, since Medea is still alive in the end.
OK, I'm going to rewrite this intro with the same content but with wording corrected; your expression and grammar has a few issues.Silhouetted against the backdrop of ancient Greece's patriarchal society, Euripides' play 'Medea' portrays the attempt of the woman Medea to avenge herself against societal oppression. Medea's obedience to Jason's will casts her into a state of despair, allowing sympathy for her. Furthermore, despite her fatal flaw of being unable to control her passion, Medea is still able to acknowledge the wrongdoing of her gruesome machinations. Thus, although the gender inequity she suffers presents her to some extent as a victim, ultimately, the true victims are the innocent people who are killed, while Medea still remains alive.To begin with, avoid starting paragraphs like this – it sounds like a 'firstly secondly thirdly' checklist/formula the despair that females must cope with due to the betrayal of Jason, is what invites Medea to be the victim of the play.
That despite the help Medea has given to Jason by killing his own brother to help him secure the Golden Fleece, Jason still abandons Medea for Creon’s daughter. This only brings more despair to Medea, prevalent through the continuous cries of
“death” from the outset of her part to the play.
At this stage of the play, what stage? avoid stating where in the text something is, unless it's important e.g. due to character development over time Medea is portrayed to be a women of no machinations, or even anger, but merely anguished please for death from a “
wretched” women. Despite the second burst of cries containing curses against Jason, it is again clearly the cries of a stereotypical emotional women to be pitied, not to be afraid of.
Nice insight! This positions the
misogynistic audience,
even the misogynist audience to feel pity for such a “
creature”, that is wishing only of death after having properly submitted to Jason. Thus indicating that Medea must be a victim of a patriarchal society
, because even the very own misogynist audience can still feel sorry for her. that last chunk repeated almost exactly what you said the sentence before, try to avoid repetitionAlternatively, Jason can be sympathised because his actions are not exactly incorrect, due to the nature of the patriarchal society in ancient Greece.
you didn't mention this in the intro? This is because despite Jason betraying Medea, he would have been praised by the Athenian audience at the time. Since during this time, male characters were allowed to betray their wives for another women, and especially in this case that if Jason was to stay with Medea a foreigner, he would have never been able to bore children with citizenship. This would have been a massive embarrassment to Jason, so for Medea to still react in such an away with her glory machinations
check what this word means despite the correct doings of Jason, he can be felt sympathy for.
Most people would say that doing something unethical is unethical, despite the society – instead, suggest that while Jason's actions aren't great, it is partly because he is a victim of societal values/culture/expectations In peculiar
particular is how in the end Jason had ended up losing not only his children, but also his wife which would have prevented Jason from boring any children. This was a particular problem, as children was highly valued in males during ancient Greece. Thus this only allows stronger sympathy for Jason, in peculiar from the audience of the play being male Athenians.
Need quotes in this paragraphFurthermore the ability of Medea to acknowledge her misdeeds, but only falling to the oppression of the patriarchal society that she cannot assume being
“weak”,
don't understand this sentence? makes her a victim of the play. During Medea’s monologue when she ponders about continuing or not with her gruesome machinations, the true inner feelings can be discovered. This is because Medea herself too does not what to kill her children which she so greatly cares about. But it is only due to the patriarchal oppression that she cannot
“weaken her hands” and thus be edged to prove that females are not just weak submissive servants to husbands. It is because of this unfair gender imbalances present at the time, that Medea is unable to tolerate, that drives such horrendous actions. In ways is a challenge of the prominent patriarchal society at the time, suggesting the outcomes of such selfish males- that being the killing of people, if males are to continue to treat females in the same fashion.
Good reference to the author's intention and what he's trying to do! Thus positioning the audience to truly understand the state of mind Medea is in, as well as females in general. This allows her to be placed as a character that can be sympathized for.
But the last 2 sentences aren't as good; they're quite general/vague, and repeat what you've already said elsewhere. Try 'Thus, while Medea's actions are not justifiable, Euripides nonetheless arouses sympathy for her – and all females – by somewhat blaming her behaviour on the oppression she faced.'Could have merged this paragraph with your earlier one on Medea, or at least put it directly after the earlier one – this is disjointed with 'Medea – Jason – Medea – King Creon'.But inevitably the true victim of the play
goes to is King Creon, because despite the good he does, he still ends up dying. King Creon highly values family, which was of great importance to the ancient Athenians, presenting him as a good character to the audience.
Try words that are more specific than 'good' – in what way is he good? This is prevalent in the conversation where Medea argues to King Creon for stay in his city, but King Creon simply denies because of the
“fear that she may cause harm to his daughter”. This obviously demonstrates that he cares highly of his daughter, making the audience being positioned to feel pleased about him
again: in what way are they pleased? Why are they pleased? Specifically, how does it make them feel about him?. However, he is still one easily manipulative
manipulated character which offers Medea the stay into his city for a day where she was able to
“lust revenge”. These fatal flaws of King Creon, only builds up the sympathy the audience feels for him as he is a character with good deeds, but a tragic flaw. The lasting effects on King Creon being portrayed as a true victim of the play, is his high values of his family. That is upon the death of Galuces (the daughter of Creon), Creon to decides to die together with her. This demonstrates the nature of King Creon, a person with the utmost care of others and especially his family that he too will die if someone else close dies too. Thus, King Creon is undeniably the true victim of the play.
make that last sentence a little more specific/less just copying the prompt's words:... undeniably the true victim of the play, because his [generosity/strong family values/idk what as I haven't read the text] demonstrates that he is not deserving of his tragic fate.Therefore, despite the life Medea has to suffer in Euripides play Medea, making her a victim, but inevitably she is alive, and the ones that are dead for doing no harm can only be sympathised by the audience more, thus making them the true victim. This is because Jason betrays Medea for another women leaving Medea in great state of despair that positions the audience to feel sympathy for her. In addition, her machinations are only due to her passion of owning up to the unfair male dominance society, because otherwise she still acknowledges her wrongdoings. However, the innocent people at the end of Medea’s “
lust revenge” are the true victims, as they are
inevitably dead.
note the word 'ultimately' is a good one to stop repetition of inevitably Conclusion just sums up what you said in the intro/paragraphs, and focuses too much on Medea.
To improve> MOST IMPORTANT: expression, vocab and correct grammar. A number of your sentences just don't quite flow right. If you focus on this (e.g. go over your essays and read them aloud to see where they feel a bit wrong, asking someone to point out the issues in short pieces of your work), examiners will be much happier when they read your work. Your point will get across better and you'll get better marks.
> need more quotes (I highlighted them blue to emphasise that there aren't quite enough; and while it's good to do some 1-word quotes (well done on your embedding btw), you need a couple of slightly longer ones).
> mention Euripides a bit more –
Euripides is the one intentionally shaping this play, intentionally presenting the characters and values the way he does. So mention him occasionally, he is the one trying to arouse sympathy or disdain the audience.
> be careful not to contradict yourself: don't state 'Medea's the victim… no she isn't, actually Jason is… well no it was Medea… well, actually King Creon really is… yeah well, it's Medea… ? Idk ?'. Think about what your overall contention is – something like, while the audience can feel some sympathy for Medea due to the oppression she faces in the patriarchal Greek society, ultimately King Creon manages to be both good and oppressed, and is thus the ultimate victim.
> I'm concerned with the argument that Medea isn't the true victim
because she stays alive (though I don't know the story) – people who stay alive can still be victims! It's a bit simplistic to say 'you're alive, so you're not a victim - you're dead so you are.' Try instead evidence about her evil/nastiness, and contrast this with the innocence of people like King Creon.
Good already > follows TEEL nicely
> some good ideas and insights – sees the different sides of Medea, for instance
> some good vocab
> understanding of the historical context
My 300th post!